Everything was not there...

I returned to this island thinking to retrace my steps by following its streets. 

I might just as well have sought the edge of the horizon, the threshold where time begins and ends. 
I ended up on the pier, night was flowing on the sea. 
It was, to be sure, that leaden water I was looking at without understanding anything about the darkness coming down on me. 
Everything was there.  
Everything was not there. 
Only now do I realize it and write, not knowing why, these words that will give me nothing back.
Do you know how it feels when you become a stranger on the land that you were born and lived til you were twenty?