有多遠/How far? III

三十五年後, 早兒在她的辦公室, 一座混合磚牆與粗木的建築物。每天早晨, 她總是拿著一杯咖啡站在窗前仰望天空。這是她的方式來迎接一天。晴天雨天也好, 她從來不抱怨天氣。她自己動手做咖啡, 不喜歡指使他人, 喜歡烘意大利小餅予其他同事。她上午聽古典音樂, 下午聽爵士樂。在她的辦公桌上, 面對她的是兩個女兒的照片。大女兒在英屬哥倫比亞大學讀完英國文學, 現在在多倫多大學讀碩士學位。小女兒得到新蘇格蘭省藝術學院美術學位, 希望成為一個藝術家。早兒的丈夫 是她的生意合作夥伴, 他們開了一個藝術畫廊, 她椅子背後是書櫃, 大多是關於藝術和文學書籍, 早兒仍然愛讀書, 但近年來, 她喜歡讀詩。

Thirty-five years later, Joey is in her office, a heritage building with exposed wood beans and brick walls. Every morning she stands by the window looking up at the sky with a cup of coffee. It is her way to welcome the day. Rain or shine, she never complaints about the weather. She makes her own coffee because she doesn’t like to order people around, and bakes biscotti for everybody in the office. She listens to classical music in the morning and jazz in the afternoon. On her desk, facing her is a photo of her two daughters. The elder girl finished English Literature in UBC and is currently studying her master degree in University of Toronto. The younger girl got a Fine Arts degree from Nova Scotia College of Art and wants to be a artist. Joey’s husband is her business partner. They own an art gallery. Behind her chair are bookcases of books, mostly art and literature. Joey still read, but these days she prefers poetry.
—Published by Vancouver Public Library

有多遠/How far? II

早兒喜歡閱讀, 讀完了村裏唯一圖書館裡的所有書籍, 雖然不太多, 奧斯汀、勃朗特、狄更斯、勞倫斯、喬伊斯、伍爾夫、托爾斯泰、陀斯妥耶夫斯基、巴爾扎克、卡夫卡等, 其中的一些她不明白的, 但她都讀了。每天晚上她的祖母都要提醒她放下書去睡覺。有時候她上山去或坐在海邊岩石上, 能靜靜地讀書。她沒有朋友, 因為她所有的空餘時間都用來讀書。
早兒從來沒有跟她的母親頂嘴, 她完成了每日的工作, 仍然有時間替其他孩子的補習功課, 為老人家寫信件和設計戲院的海報, 只要能夠賺取多一些額外的錢。生活平靜的過了幾年, 除了她推掉了兩個求婚, 她的母親固然忿怒, 她生氣早兒的反叛多過擔心女兒的將來。
在早兒最小的弟弟入了初中後不久, 她告訴家人, 她要離開去北美洲, 她的父親以為她瘋了, 她的母親大發雷霆, 她的祖母哭了, 她的弟弟求她不要走。她時年二十歲, 那是一個混亂的時代, 越南戰爭、嬉皮士、胡士托音樂節、馬丁路德京黑人民權運動、肯尼迪暗殺陰謀和水門事件。

Joey loved to read and finished all the books in the village library, although there weren’t too many. Austen, the Brontes, Dickens, Lawrence, Joyce, Woolf, Tolstoy, Dostoevsky, Balzac, Kafka etc., she read them all. She didn’t understand some of them but she read them anyway. Every night her grandmother had to order her to put down the book and go to sleep. Sometimes she went up into the hills or sat on the rocks by the sea, places where she could read in peace. She had no friends, since she spent all her spare time reading.

Joey never argued with her mother. She finished all her daily work and still found time to tutor the other children’s homework, to write letters for the elderly and to paint posters for the theatre. Anything to make some extra money. Life was going on quietly for a few years, except that she turned down two marriage proposals. Her mother was quite upset, more about Joey’s rebellion than about her daughter’s future.

Not long after her youngest brother entered high school, Joey told her family that she’s leaving to North America. Her father thought she was crazy. Her mother was furious. Her grandmother cried and her brothers begged her not to leave.
She was twenty. It was a chaotic era, the Vietnam-war, the hippies, Woodstock, the civil right movement, the assassinations and the Watergate conspiracy.

有多遠/How far? I

早兒的母親非常依賴她, 作為家中長女和下有四個弟弟, 她要接手母親一些家務, 祖母也很辛苦, 不像其他的年老婦女, 每天坐在家門前盯著路人來打發日子, 早兒的父親每月從香港回來一次, 當他在家時, 通常睡上一整天, 補償因在外工作時間長而睡眠不足, 留下家事由三代的婦女的來打理。

她母親和祖母在學校附近開了一個小店, 她們清早離家開店, 等錯過家裏早餐的學生可以購買食物和飲料, 當她的祖母和母親離開後, 家中一切由早兒負責, 她送大弟們上學, 照顧小弟, 她每天的工作包括打掃, 洗衣服和幫助弟弟們做功課。
她在小學六年級輟學, 她母親說, “女孩子不需要教育, 只要好運氣, 如果嫁得好, 保證終身享福”, 早兒想問她的母親, 如果被丈夫遺棄了又什麼辦? 但她不敢。

Joey’s mother depend on her very much. Being the only girl in the family and the oldest with four younger brothers, she took over some of her mother’s housework. Grandmother worked very hard too, unlike some older women who just sat by the door and stared at the passers-by daily. Joey’s father only came home from the city once a month. When he was home he usually slept all day to make up for the long working hours. So the three generations of women were left to take care of everything.

Her grandmother and mother ran a convenience store near a elementary school. They left early in the morning to the store so the school children could buy food and drinks when they missed their breakfast. When her grandmother and mother were gone for the day, Joey was left in charge. She sent the older boys to school and kept the youngest one within her sight. Her daily workload included cleaning, doing the laundry and helping her brothers with their school work.

She dropped out of school in grade six. Her mother said, " Girls don’t need education. All they need is a good fortune. You marry well, then you are guaranteed a lifelong good living." Joey wanted to ask her mother what would happen if the husband deserted you. But she dared not.